stability.

What better time to blog than while squinting, spectacles-less at the computer, dying one's hair? That's what I thought.

I've been doing this thing, where I burn a cd for Pat C. Hoy II, god among men, aka my writing professor and the head of our Expository Writing department here at NYU, I make a cover for it out of a piece cut out from a colouring book page, and leave it unascribed to anyone in his mailbox every week. I understand that I'm a really odd girl. I'm fine with it.

After a semi-lame weekend... not terrible, but not amazing... my trip to the JCH in Brooklyn to my double life as a Jewess was actually really great. All of the Jews were really nice to me and my boss asked me if I wanted to become on staff instead of just being a volunteer, so that's a maybe. She said she has to run it by other administrative people, but if that works out, that's one more day of being paid, so that would be cool. The kids were pretty good, too. I hung out with the same sweet little Asian girl for the majority of it. She's nonverbal and kind of antisocial, which is understandable, given that she has autism. She really does live in her own little world. But she understands what is said to her and she is really smart about things like the alphabet and numbers and stuff like that. She likes to take blank pieces of paper and draw shapes and write words on them. She does this on literally like fifty pieces of paper. The funniest one she did today was a piece of paper that very simply read, "Give me". It was one of the staff's birthdays today... this guy was one whom I perceived to be probably 22... Today he turned 19 and I realized that I was one of the two oldest people there, which changed some of my perceptions.

On my way home on the subway, I realized that my life has reached the stability it hasn't had since before I can remember. The last time I think my life felt stable was when I was dating Dan and it was pretty serious and we spent a lot of time together and it was vaguely like we were married. That was a year ago. I'm not saying I've been seriously fucked-up since that point because of him, but a lot of things have happened since then to make me the fucked-up, totally emotionally damaged person that I was partially during the spring and summer and definitely during the fall. I'm happy now. I don't know what changed, but enough things changed and enough time passed and I feel good. I walk around New York with a smile on my face and my hipster headphones over my ears. I don't know how long this will last, but I'm glad of it for now.