this is how i feel.

For weeks I have been looking forward to going home to California. This semester -- this year, really -- has been a rough one, a growing one, and I am tired and I need to get out of New York and away from being stressed out all the time. I need a good night's sleep, multiplied about 100 times, I need it to be warm, I need to not worry about money, I need the fresh fruit and veggies that are never as delicious here.

Right?

I had my last day of volunteering at the JCH today, and even though this is like, the least-involved of my jobs, it was pretty weird to say bye to it and to the people, who asked me back for next fall, and I might even get paid, depending on the time span of the session. I feel like I have such a full, fucking intense, multidimensional world here, my jobs, the people I work with, many groups of friends, many career-related associations now, and even just the different areas of New York City that I have frequented in the past two years. I've worked in Harlem, the Bronx, Brooklyn, the Upper West Side, Midtown. I have friends who live in Gramercy, the West Village, Stuy-town, Little Italy, Chinatown, Brooklyn, and Alphabet City.

I think next summer, even though I am going to Prague in the spring, I am going to live in New York, with a short jaunt home to go to Camp. I want to make this world my home and I also want to learn to live here without getting so tired and without wanting to run home for a break. I think I will appreciate California this summer, though. I have a lot to look forward to. Camp Re-Creation, for the fifth year, an anatomy class with Eric, hopefully having lots of hours at a job I at least semi-enjoy, getting my drivers license, casual beers with friends, chilling out in the sun.

I am trying to look forward to everything everything everything. Cross your fingers that it works!